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I claimed the two men in black as mine, since I had special plans for them. I warned the others not to fire unless the Forest People attacked. If they did, I told them to mow them down. I had no intentions of taking any prisoners. By then the bad guys were within spitting distance of the ford; no more than fifty feet away, and they were dropping from a jog to a walk. As they did, the two dressed in black brought up their weapons. I decided to shoot first and ask questions later so I opened fire.I flicked on my laser range finder and then I put three rounds into the groin of the man leading the advancing pack. A groin shot made sense, since the man and his companion were both decked out in body armour. A chest shot just wasn’t in the picture. The man screamed and crumpled in response, and as he did I swung my carbine onto the man striding right beside him. That man had only brought his weapon up part way when I’d fired. It was now level and ready to be fired, but was still canted to. “Gold of course, “says the man proudly. The wife gives him a withering look and says: “What about silver? It’d be nice if you tried coming second for a change.”A sausage factory owner was showing his arrogant son around and try as he might he found it impossible to impress him. As they approached the heart of the factory, the man thought: “If this doesn’t do it nothing will!” He showed his son a machine and said: “Son, this machine is the very the heart of the factory. We put in a pig and outcomes sausages.” Still unimpressed his son merely replied: “Yes, but do you have a machine where you feed in sausages and produce a pig.” The furious father thought and said, “Yes son, we call it your mother.”A young swimmer from the Australian Olympic team sneaks his new girlfriend, a gorgeous American gymnast, into his room at the Olympic Village. Once she’s inside, he quickly switches out all the lights, they rapidly disrobe and leap onto his bed in a flurry of athletic achievement. After.
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